WOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So much for what I had planned.  Writing furiously, making amazing observations learning about myself and BAM hit a wall just like a runner.  I am disappointed in myself actually.  I hate abandoned blogs at least ones with no closing.  They just hang out there cloaked in an air of despair -a life dissipated sinking into the abyss of anonymity.  How miserable.

Truthfully I doubt if anyone really cares where I went.  What happened was that we decided to stay in USA for the foreseeable future.  All my anxiety went out the window and new batch of anxiety came swooping in.  Although I am happy right now about staying.   part of me wanted to go.  If not more than anything else than to get away from my family.

We had been told before that my husband absolutely could not get papers because of the way he came over the border.  Three attorneys  I spoke to said there was no way, "wait to see if they pass immigration reform."   So we gave up and resolved ourselves to taking our chances getting a visa in Brazil.   Personally I don't believe they are going to pass immigration reform but lets keep that our little secret because A LOT of people are counting on it.   My husband didn't want to wait to see if they passed reform  he wanted to go home (and I didn't blame him), he had financial holdings down there that were losing value as each year went by.  But then one miraculous day I took another shot at talking to attorneys and I FOUND ONE!!!  She said she had 100% rating getting visa's.  And of course I then became pissed at the other incompetent jerk-offs I had already spoken to who had changed the trajectory of my life.  How can you play with people lives like that?  your screwing with families, livelihoods and people's emotions....WTF?  What that experience taught me was not to listen to anyone, to keep searching, till you know you have turned over every rock, never take anyone's word for anything be shrewd.  Now we are in the process of getting my husband papers so that he can get a social security number and become a normal member of society FINALLY that is a whole other post(s).   Although there is no guarantees she is pretty confident we have a good case.   All in all its a  long process about a year to a year and a half but its well worth it.

Then my husband bought thousands of dollars of equipment to open a business that is very lucrative right now.  So we are working on that and that is taking up a lot of our time, especially his.  This money we used was the money we were going to use to renovate our house in Parana.  So its all bittersweet, and mixed emotions.

Its weird, I had been mentally preparing myself for my new life in Brazil for at least 2 years.   I fantasized about meeting new people, getting to know his family, just having a new adventure.  Here is a list of things I wanted to do.

1.  Get to know his family
2.  Immerse yourself in another culture
3.  Learn to read and write Portuguese
4.  Start a business
5.  Visit Argentina which is right on the border
6.  learn to surf in Santa Caterina....world class
7.  Finally have an excuse to ignore your family
8.  Suck up all the adoration and novelty of being American


So we shall see how things progress, this post is a little lame, but I have just been so lazy lately with the heat, its been 90 degrees here, and I started running and I am just exhausted.  I will try harder to make it juicier next post...........and sooner.

POLICE KILL IN RIO AND BURY BODY

Ten military police officers in Brazil are accused of torturing and killing a 47-year-old brick layer -- and then hiding his corpse.

The incident was allegedly committed by members of Brazil's Pacifying Police Unit, a team assembled to address crime before the 2014 World Cup and the 2016 Olympic Games comes to Brazil.

The incident dates back to July 14 when Amarido de Souza was taken to police headquarters in Rio de Janeiro by officers, state broadcaster Agencia Brazil reported.

Souza was never seen again.

Police said that Souza had been brought in for questioning and was released. But a prosecutor said there was no evidence from security camera footage that Souza ever left police headquarters, Agencia Brazil reported.

There was evidence, the state news agency reported, that two security cameras were turned off or burned.

Investigators believe Souza was tortured, killed and his body was concealed somewhere. Prosecutor Homero de Freitas plans to file a complaint against all 10 officers, Agencia Brazil reported.

One of the 10 accused is a unit commander for the new Pacifying Police Unit.

The military police team was created some years ago to clear the Rio de Janeiro slum, called a favela in Portuguese, of drug traffickers. The Pacifying Police Units are tasked with living and working in the favelas they protect.

The unit has grown in importance in recent years as the upcoming World Cup and Olympics puts Brazil in the spotlight.

Brazil needs to pay attention to the poor its their eyesore

I have been a outspoken critic of the Brazilian health care system.  When I heard that people die in the emergency room.  That they have to wait for days just to look at a simple infection.  I really feel for the poor Brazilians that have to endure the 3rd world standards of the health care system.  They are the forgotten people.  A left over legacy of slavery.  The majority of the Brazilians poorest communities are black is that a coincidence.   Did you know that Brazil imported more slaves than any other country?  Did you also know they were the last to make it illegal?  Because wealthy land owners didn't want to give up free labor. Its something that permeates to this day revealed in the fact it has the highest economic disparity in the whole hemisphere.  But what bothers me most about Brazil is the lack of political correctness the lack of caring.  In a country with such a long way to go with so much bad infrastructure and the problems with inflation and the low grade health care.  Brazil should exhibit more humility.

Go to this link for more information  http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/world/2013/09/26/pkg-darlington-brazil-foreign-doctors.cnn

The Forgotten Children part 1

"Oh will I will I ever get any readers LOL!"  Should I be all bubbly and write things like "oh how much I love food" yada yada.  Or should I keep doing what I have been doing and alienate people?  Such tough questions.   Do I want a lot of ass kissing comments at the bottom of my posts or do I want to write what I think or what bothers me and be blunt with no restrictions?.  I guess I could go all sugary sweet and try to be diplomatic but where is the fun in that?  Fucking boring.  Honestly I'm going to stick to the writing style I have right now which is abrasive but its how I feel right now.  I'll wait and see how my blog develops naturally over time.  I write this blog for me and no one else.  Sure someday I might want to hide these posts but heck this is the journey of life and I hope I never turn into a coward.  Right now I'm not trying to attract advertising or be in the news.  Its a venting space for things that bother ME. If I want to write a guide about something I'll change my blog to the typical canned style of blogging that most people do . The point is for me to watch how I change over time.  Will my tone change, will my opinions change, will I eat crow?   Right now I'm not a big fan of Brazil. I am being true after all.  Some people take offense but its not personal its my personal.  Its my anxieties my fears and my life.   I am sorry if some people don't like it.

1.  The car seat thing.  Ok I understand that Brazil has had a hard time of it for a while.  But the fact remains its 2013 and everyone knows that babies are suppose to be in car seats if your driving.  But still down in Brazil its culturally acceptable to let your 6 mos old with his/her soft head become a 50 mile and hour projectile and land in the middle of the pot hole ridden street where someone else can then run it over  I know people are poor but then don't drive.  Its the governments responsibility to care for the children of Brazil and find a way to provide affordable car seats for poor families.   There should be a nation wide program that helps and ;provides with a way to get a car seat cheap.  Make a deal with China, make then make a nationwide announcement.  You can even ask for proof of income when ehy come to get their car seat.  But do something don't just let the carnage continue.  It can be done the government can do it.  But the fact is they just don't give a shit.  That bothers me.

2.  The corruption thing.  Its a virus down there.  I know a lot of governments have some corruption but Brazil wins the prize as one of the best.  You could get rid of the entire Congress and Presidential cabinet down there right now and all the seats would be filled with a 100 more corrupt politicians in 10 minutes.  Why because its not political its cultural.  Its culturally acceptable to be a liar and a sneak.  In fact its expected.

3.  The driving thing.  The way its culturally acceptable to drive like a maniac and just kill people in the street or get into fatal car crash's.  What is that all about?   Start pulling them over and arresting these people already.  WTF is going on down there?  Brazil has higher fatalities than Argentina and Chile.  Look up the statistics I'm not giving the link I checked it all out,  its brutal down there.  Doesn't anyone teach anyone to value life?   They kill old people because they take to long to cross the road.  I'm not joking I did the research.  How ignorant is that?  Do you really need a high school education to know that you should slow down when you see people?  Can you really use the excuse we are poor so we kill people with 2000 pds of metal.  It doesn't make sense.  Poor or not its common sense.  I just want to know exactly what the cops do down there.  They are not enforcing laws, or solving crimes, and they're certainly not pulling anyone over.  Whats the point of having cops?

4.  The murdering of street children by the police.  They are still doing it today read the links.  This is a thorn in Brazil's side the fact remains that street children are a huge problem in Brazil.  Why?  Because they annoy rich people down there and they annoy the cops.  Like I care about rich people or the cops.  In fact I like nothing more than rich assholes getting annoyed.  In the late 90's there was a string of murders where children were murdered because they were a nuisance.  And no one was there to protect them.  What kind of country has a police force that murders children?  Has there been any changes to the police force down there?  Doubt it.  Has there been any new social programs implemented by the government to help these children?  Doubt it.   But yet you are spending billions of dollars on the World Cup and the Olympics.   I don't even like the Rio police force from what I've heard they are a bunch of assholes. I wouldn't even go to one for help unless someone was chasing me with a knife and even then I would look for an alternative.  Yet this is a country wide problem police just simply kill you if they don't like you and with impunity.  Click the link below and look at what is going on in Recife where street children are still being killed and that is just what we know about.

You don't believe me read it for yourself http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9604/29/brazil.street.kids/.

Here is another one http://www.stephenbrookes.com/international/2006/4/18/the-murder-of-rios-street-kids.html

Read this one html://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/death-to-undesirables-brazils-murder-capital-1685214.html

UPDATE****My husband wants me to clarify that I have no idea what I mean when I talk about poor children being victimized in Brazil.  He tells me that image of have of American children all warm and fuzzy building snowmen and coming home for hot cocoa with red cheeks is not what its like in the poor section so Brazil.  He then proceeded to tell me that these children have done seriously shocking things that I would have a a different attitude if I loved  among them and feared for my safety.  That they run in gangs of like 20-30 kids and they terrorize people.  he said once he once saw them coming down the street and was gong to give up his car no questions asked that is how intimidated that are.  They rob he said.  They kill he said.  he is probably right I don't live there, but isn't Brazil to blame for the way they live after all they are the forgotton children.

HE BELONGS WITH HIS FATHER

International abduction has recently come under my radar specifically due to the fact that I'm married to a Brazilian and it definitely has a place in my life.  its a haunting thought that hides in the dark corners of my mind considering the long life I have ahead of me and the the fact I have a baby with him.  Not that I'm planning on abducting or ever would but people are people.   The fact remains that this is a real issue for anyone who has a baby with someone who is a citizen of another country.  Anyone who denies it is lying to themselves.  I personally if asked would not recommend having a baby with a citizen of another country. 

The Hague agreement which is protocol for what should be done if a person takes a child out of the country they were born without the consent of the other parent who is left behind has been signed between the Brazil and the United States.  However it has come to attention that Brazil is not adhering to the agreement they signed and in fact in a lot of cases are completely ignoring it.  I have been reading up on the Goldman case.  I was astonished to see how Brazil acted during the proceedings.  Astonished for the fact that I found a lot of what was written on the Brazilian side to be comical almost child like and well frankly lacking in intelligent  thought.  I was suddenly scared for myself to be moving to a country where the people in charge sound in a lot of cases completely ignorant even though these are the educated people.   I'm not saying there are not educated people in Brazil I know there are.  But with all due to respect and staying true to myself I have noted through extensive research A LOT of what people say in Brazil in cases where objectivity and intelligence is required is completely devoid.  Its as if they are driven by irrational false information that seems to permeate and perpetuate the society down there.  Brazil is still caught in a time warp.

Case in point read this document by the husband of the woman that kidnapped  Sean Goldman. Now this is man of prominence in Brazil with influence, who is educated, and a lawyer.  I will tell you up front that he sounds like a complete moron, his arguments are immature and ignorant.  They sound like the rantings of a man on the edge and maybe  psychiatric disorder or two.  It does not sound like the arguments of an educated man.  If this is the majority of educated individuals in Brazil then Brazil is in real trouble which may account for the state of the country since recent economic progress has completely slowed not all what they predicted.

There is also a level of anti-American sentiment in this document that I always believed existed although people "claim"' that Brazil is not anti-American.  And where there is one there is many.  However now I see proof of my suspicions.  The suspicion that a lot of Brazilians are simply jealous of the power and the wealth that the United States has.  

The document starts below.  The first part is comments from someone critiquing the letter that the husband/stepfather wrote.  The actual letter begins under the title that reads To the National Council of Children and Adolescent Rights, Joao Paulo Lins e Silva, Rio De Janeiro, March 5, 2009 it is a narrative. But what it really is is an excuse to attack the United States and its citizens out of pure jealousy which has nothing to do with the case.  This is a professional educated revered man??   This is all easy to see through by an educated person.  I highlighted the part at the head of the letter in red so you can see where it starts.

Bring Sean Home Comments: The letter below was posted on a page of an O Globo web site.

There are obvious falsehoods within this letter but the “theme” is what we find to be most disturbing. João Paulo initially refers to David by name and then switches to calling him “the American,” as if it’s a foul dirty word. Eighteen times he calls him “the American,” rather than David Goldman. Eighteen! As the letter progresses the jingoism and blatant xenophobia rises to a hysterical crescendo. The message here is not too subtle, João Paulo and his advisors are attempting to turn a Hague Convention child abduction case into some kind of patriotic war, Brazil vesus the evil super power, the United States. It is an attempt to Ignore the Law, Ignore the Abduction, Ignore the Truth but stir Brazilian public opinion into a frenzy of anti-American sentiment.

David Goldman’s Brazilian attorney, Ricardo Zamariola Jr. wrote a letter in response to the National Council of Children and Adolescent Rights. It reviews the case from the beginning up to an including March 14th 2009, referring to pages of documented case files! While it is a long document it details the injustices that have been dealt to David by the Brazilian judiciary as well as the lies and slanderous attacks on his character and interference in David’s rights as a parent.

A Memoranda response to this letter has been written by David Goldman’s US attorney,Patricia E. Apy and forwarded to the Brazilian media. It is devastating, revealing the true events as they occurred, the false sworn statements made by Bruna Goldman to the Brazilian judiciary, withholding and misrepresentation of legal documents, secret court filings, and the truth in the relationship between her and João Paulo Lins e Silva as well his statements herein. Please read this outrageous character assassination of “The American,” below and then read the legal, documented truth here.

To the National Council of Children and Adolescent Rights

João Paulo Lins e Silva
Rio de Janeiro, March 5, 2009

Even though I graduated more than ten years ago from the Pontifícia Universidade Católica’s Law School, I write these words to you not as a militant lawyer but as the father of two beloved children and as a 35 year-old widower. For this reason, I’m writing to you in an informal way in which my reasons are presented emotionally, since I couldn’t function as a lawyer without reason and without just reason.

I lived with and was officially married to Bruna Bianchi Carneiro Ribeiro Lins e Silva for four and a half years.

Bruna studied Communication at PUC-Rio. After she graduated she did her Masters in Fashion in Milan, Italy. At the end of her last course, after four long years there, she met a North American named David George Goldman, who was living in the same building where Bruna lived and was working there as a model. After a few months of meeting each other, they began to date, in a long-distance relationship, since the North American lived in the United States and wasn’t available and wasn’t asked to do runway shows as frequently, due to his age.

The relationship lasted a few months. During this time Bruna traveled to the United States and Canada with her American boyfriend.

Two months after returning to Milan, Bruna discovered she was pregnant with her North American boyfriend’s child, who was conceived during the trip to Canada. Bruna told her boyfriend and her family. Since the contact between the two were rare due to the distance between them, and with her desire to be a mother growing, Bruna decided to give up Europe and moved to New Jersey, in the United States, with the purpose to give her child the chance to have a family.

Bruna, unfortunately, couldn’t imagine the suffering that she would soon experience.

Here I will explain some very personal facts that only a husband or close friends could actually know.

The relationship that worked well long-distance until then became a tragedy. The boyfriend, that would become a husband on account of the pregnancy, didn’t touch his wife anymore. During her pregnancy, even during their honeymoon, which would happen later with Bruna pregnant, there were no intimate relations between the couple.

During the last three years of living together, Bruna slept in a separate room from her ex-husband. She was anguished, in a deep depression, and cried every day. Fights were common and watched by little Sean, who was born in 2000 in the US but registered in the Brazilian Consulate and by the First Civil Registry of Naturalized Persons of Rio de Janeiro. It’s important to point out that this registry with the Brazilian Consulate took place three months after Sean’s birth, making him a Brazilian citizen like all of us, with all of the rights and obligations of a citizen born in Brazil, and when he becomes a legal adult he can opt to be Brazilian or American. Until then he has both nationalities, without one overpowering the other or without him being more Brazilian than American or vice versa.

David, at that point, because of his age, couldn’t find any work and rarely earned any money. He stayed home practically all day, concerned about building and fixing the house. Bruna worked all day long giving Italian classes in elementary schools and she was the one who put food on the table and handled all of the general costs of living. However, knowing about the situation, Bruna’s family helped by sending money to the family so they could have a dignified life.

Even their health insurance was paid for by Bruna, since her ex-husband wasn’t making any money. They lived in a world of appearances, where for some they had a great life, but inside the home it was hell.

The situation got to be so bad that at one point Sean, who was almost four, called his maternal grandmother, very sad, and told her that his mom didn’t like him anymore because she was out all day, and his dad was the only one who liked him, because he took care of him. He asked her to keep his secret. Asked who would have said such a barbarity to a child, Sean responded it was David.

Shaken, the maternal grandmother told her daughter about this sad incident. Bruna, who was already in Brazil with Sean on vacation, decided to end the marriage, which hadn’t really existed for more than four years. She was unhappy, depressed, had a lazy husband who didn’t want his wife since she was pregnant, and found herself forced to work all day long just to sustain her family.

She decided not to return to the United States and to end her unhappy marriage.

She called her ex-husband, told him she was unhappy, that she didn’t want to ever go back, and offered him a plane ticket to come immediately to Brazil so they could talk and work everything out. That didn’t happen. The American rejected the plane tickets, a place to stay, and said he’d never set foot in Brazil.

Bruna, without any other alternative, looked for information about a lawyer specializing in her situation. Immediately, and during the authorized period of time given to Bruna by the American to stay in Brazil with her son, appeared in Brazilian Court and asked for custody of Sean, which was quickly granted.

The American, meanwhile, wasn’t interested in speaking to Bruna amicably anymore. He went to a law office in Sao Paulo and months after Bruna left, filed an action alleging international child abduction!! But he didn’t know if the mother would ask for ransom, or even where she was. The theory of asking for ransom would come true, but on the opposite side, which will be explained shortly.

In this case in the Family Court in Rio, the American rightly contested the request. He lost the first time and appealed to the State Court. He was unsuccessful again. He tried going to the STJ, where he was not accepted and was unable to appeal again, closing the case.

During the ongoing case in the Federal Court, of which the American is the person responsible, he lost the first case, then the second case, and then again he lost in the Superior Court of Justice, where he was made to understand that the law rules in the interest of the minor, and in this case, that he would stay in Brazil with his mother.

At this point, it’s important to open up.

I met Bruna again through a mutual friend from college right after she returned to the US. At that time I was separated from my first wife.

We had similar stories, we weren’t happy in our marriages for a few similar reasons and maybe through this life experience we understood each other very well.
In less than six months after we met again, we were living together. And I never imagined how happy I could be at Bruna’s side.

For a reason that can be explained, life brought us together three times, and without the first two we never could have really been together. The third time we were certain that we were made for each other, to be together forever.

Bruna told me all the time that I was “the husband she chose.” We loved each other the whole time and there was never a moment of sadness.

Sean had a more than special participation in our lives. Ever since our first meeting we made sure he would accept the situation. He was the one who brought the first Valentine’s gift for me, spontaneously. My relationship with Bruna would never be above or could be compared to the relationship between mother and son, and because of this we did everything in the best way possible thinking about Sean’s well-being.

We were very involved together as a family, so it was natural that Sean began to call me DAD. It was his personal wish, and I received this gift with lots of pride and endearment. Our relationship, aside from nomenclature, was like a father and son: I always went to the parents’ meetings at his school, we did his homework together, I put him to bed, common things between parents and children.

And I did it for love. Sean is the son I never had from my first marriage. Our relationship has always been very strong, one of conversation, of love, of learning, of orientation, support, and protection.

From the first day we spent together and decided to become a family, it became my exclusive obligation to support my family financially. I became responsible to pay for the costs of the maid, food, housing, school, and leisure. We always went on vacation. Sean was able to see Europe at my side, and to be enchanted by Paris and Eurodisney.

We had the best family in the world for four and a half long years, one where everything was love, hugs, and respect. There were never any fights, any crying, not a single moment of unhappiness.
Bruna, who also registered her marriage to the North American in Brazil, asked for a divorce in the Brazilian court, an act in line with the law. The American was formally notified by a judicial official in Brasilia. Bruna divorced and we were finally able to officially marry. Our wedding took place on September 1, 2007.

At our wedding, a marriage certificate was signed by Bruna, me, and witnesses, as the law states, but in a pure act of spontaneity, Sean asked to sign it too, which really moved us, and it’s on the legal certification as can be proved by photos from the wedding. Sean was there and witnessed and approved our union.

Four months after the wedding, Bruna got pregnant again. I would have liked her to get pregnant sooner, but she questioned it, saying this time she would like to be pregnant after being formally married so they wouldn’t think she was just getting married because she was pregnant.

Bruna had a perfect pregnancy without any apparent problems. Sean watched as his mother’s belly grew each day. We were so happy when we found out it was a girl.

With her talent, Bruna became a fashion businesswoman making children’s clothes, and opened a very successful business, a store for girls called BISI. The dream of having a girl came true and she said she would make clothes for the little girl. In four years we had four stores in the best parts of Rio de Janeiro.

Scheduled to be born on August 21, 2008, Chiara decided to be born on that day. The birth took place apparently without any problems. Unfortunately, there were complications and failures that don’t deserve to be mentioned here.

My beloved Bruna, my life, the mother of my two children, died the morning of August 22, hours after giving birth to our daughter Chiara. She left me with the two greatest gifts of life: Sean and Chiara. Bruna died at age 34.

Sean – a BRAZILIAN CITIZEN – has been in Brazil since June 2004. He has been in Brazil much more time than he spent outside the country, without taking into account the time he spent abroad was when he was very little and he doesn’t remember much about it.

Sean has been under my care since January 2005, in a relationship of father and son. Today, he speaks very little English and recognizes his family –his support and nuclear family – as me, his affective father, and his sister, his biological connection to his mother.

For all those years, the North American never tried to visit us for even a day. The first year Sean spent in Brazil, he rarely called, maybe two times, on days like Sean’s birthday and Christmas. For the last two birthdays, Sean didn’t receive even a phone call, since in 2007 and 2008 we never received any contact by phone.

In the first two years, contact was limited to sending emails to my wife’s account in English to a child who couldn’t even read yet in Portuguese. We received presents one or two times, sent by the paternal grandmother with a simple card signed only by the grandmother.

During all this time the American claims he was in Brazil four or five times. In none of these occasions did he try to see us, formally or informally. He never asked for visitation rights in court, although he was answering to the custody request, after taking the legal initiative in Brazil. In

We also found out that he was in the courts lobbying with some Supreme Court judges. I repeat: at no moment did he even call our house warning us that he’d be here. He preferred to visit Sean’s judges.

Right after my beloved wife died, I decided to take the legal initiative to ask for custody of Sean, since I already took care of him and had a father-like relationship with him, a son of more than four years. I received custody after the State Public Ministry ruled in my favor.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t imagine what was coming. Right after Bruna’s seventh day mass, I received word that the American was in Brazil, and had gotten in touch with my lawyers.

My question: WOULD HE HAVE COME IF BRUNA HADN’T DIED???

Judging from the history of his actions, it’s obvious he wouldn’t have.

Even without having made visual contact in four and a half years, he decided to go after his biological son. The request was made through the family court judge, who based on experience and following the Public Ministry’s understanding of the case denied the visit, temporarily, keeping in mind the family’s moment of pain and his absence for so many years. He understood that such a visit could take place after social and psychological studied, all in Sean’s best interests.

After that legal decision, our life became hell.

This American hired, through his lawyers, a media consultant, even though the case was protected by the secrecy of justice. He began to spread his lies to the Brazilian media, as if his life in the US had been a fairy tale. He said that he had come innumerous times to Brazil and that “the family had prevented access.” He called Bruna a bigamist, an adulterer, and a child kidnapper – even after several sentences – and without Bruna being able to defend herself.

He put a letter on the Internet which accused the Brazilian courts of being corrupt, saying we’d paid all the judges, and that our courts don’t deserve credit.
Unbelievably absurd!

And that’s not all. Upon returning to the US, he went after his country’s media. He disclosed the whole story, he gave an interview telling his lies about the facts. He revealed my name and my family’s name, calling me a child abductor.

He created a site on the Internet where he tells his version of the story, where there’s a link where people have access to my email and my father’s email. From there, people began to write me, slandering me. I received hundreds of emails, telling me to burn in hell, that I’m a criminal. Along with the link, they show a series of emails at the Brazilian embassy, the courts, the Executive Powers, pressuring people through the American public opinion to take political action against me and my family, using as an excuse Sean’s return to the US after four and a half years of doing nothing.

AS IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, THE AMERICAN ASKS FOR FINANCIAL DONATIONS ON HIS SITE WHERE HE ACCEPTS CREDIT CARDS!

As if it wasn’t enough to create products with Sean’s face on it when he was two years old that serve as a stamp on mugs, cooking aprons, tee-shirts of all kinds with sayings like Brazil doesn’t follow the law, that Sean should be returned to his country, etc, completely absurd facts and appeals that serve as a way to sustain the American, for him to make money since he has no job.

It’s important to mention that he says he never calls because supposedly, the family wouldn’t accept collect calls. How could he expect to raise a child that barely remembers his American past, without any money to even call his biological son?

What’s more, on Orkut, an Internet community popular with young Brazilians, there’s a community created by children that like my wife’s store, which began to release videos and photos accusing Bruna of being a kidnapper, sending these documents to Brazilian CHILDREN, without even thinking about the consequences or evaluating the gravity of this act!

Take note that if he had really been suffering or interested he wouldn’t have begun to scream four and a half years later. He would have done it a week after Bruna came to Brazil!!!

The American appears to be full of good intentions. However, he doesn’t tell the Brazilian press, nor the American press, much less on his website, that he ACCUSED BY IN-LAWS OF PARTICIPATING IN A SUPPOSED INTERNATIONAL KIDNAPPING, IN A CASE IN THE UNITED STATES, AND THAT THERE THEY MADE A DEAL IN FRONT OF A JUDGE WHICH RECINDED HIS COMPLAINT FOR THE BEAUTIFUL AMOUNT OF US$150,000 (ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS)!!! All of this duly recognized by an American judge!

I repeat: would the guy have showed up if Bruna hadn’t died??? NEVER!!! He came because he smelled money, keeping in mind the eventual inheritance Sean would receive.

It’s important to point out that during those four and a half years, the American never sent us A SINGLE PENNY. All of Sean’s costs of living were paid for by me and Bruna. We never took the initiative to charge him for food, there’s no legal case of that kind at all. Just like there was no court order asking for and requiring him to visit Sean. So why did he come four and a half years later??? Only because Bruna died? He wasn’t satisfied with the agreement?

The American also didn’t say that he lived in a house bought with Bruna’s money. He lives with a roof over his head that’s not his, for free. He doesn’t say that he falsified Bruna’s signature on several checks from her bank account in order to gain access to the money she’d left when she returned to Brazil. He doesn’t mention any of that.

On the contrary, he makes a sad face, that of a father in trouble. Unfortunately, his acting moved the American government, which began to pressure the Brazilian Central Authority. Motivated by reasons of which I am unaware, the Secretary of Human Rights in MY COUNTRY forced the Union, through the General Advocacy Union, which is paid for by our taxes, to make a legal decision.

Today I’m the DEFENDANT IN A CASE AGAINST THE UNION WHICH PLEADS FOR SEAN’S RETURN AND VISITATION IN FAVOR OF A NORTH AMERICAN!!!!! Even though he request was made by the Family Judge and even though the return request was repeated, whose merit was already judged in the STJ! The Union pleads the right as a PRIVATE favor of an AMERICAN AGAINST A BRAZILIAN who is being massacred by the press, who can’t sleep at night, that is obligated to get court orders so that the story will be silenced, even though it’s already protected by the secrecy of justice.

My country can’t act against a REAL BRAZILIAN FATHER, TO THE POINT OF GETTING INVOLVED IN A COMPLETELY PRIVATE MATTER. AT WHAT POINT HAVE WE FOUND OURSELVES???? WE ARE THEN SUBJECTS TO THE INTEREST OF A FOREIGNER ABOVE US, INCLUDING THE DECISIONS OF OUR COURTS?
WOULD I HAVE RECEIVED THE SAME TREATMENT IF THIS HAD HAPPENED IN THE US?

I feel completely vulnerable. The American, right now, must be creating political tricks to harm my family, a person that shouldn’t receive any credit for being completely absent. To make a child is good, but to be responsible for taking care of him and raising him requires more dedication, and my love for Sean is no different than the love I feel for Chiara.

Bruna was very loved. When she died we took out a page in the newspaper to announce her mass. At her burial, which wasn’t publicized by the media, we had more than a thousand friends there. Bruna always believed in Brazil and it was here that she made her real family. Our courts understand this situation to be in Sean’s best interests, for him to stay here. Sean has a biological sister now, and the Union, pressuring or not, appears to want to forget the decision made by our maximum Court, and on account of Bruna’s death, to plead on the basis of a kidnapping, Sean’s return to the US, after he spent so much time in Brazil. They forget that Sean is BRAZILIAN!!! THAT EVEN THOUGH HE WASN’T BORN IN OUR BELOVED LAND, HE LOVES HIS BRAZIL LIKE FEW DO.

It wasn’t our fault that he lost his connection to the US. It wasn’t for our misdoing, it wasn’t for our absence. We can’t become defendants now, accused of being kidnappers, to go to a meeting in the interests of a North American. Where have we found ourselves? That Sean is more American than Brazilian?? Or is it that it’s better to be an American?? When will these political pressures serve as an excuse for the AGU to take an initiative in favor of a “gringo’s” private interests against a LEGITIMATE BRAZILIAN FAMILY???

Sean, ever since his mother died, has been receiving psychological help to aid him through a difficult time. Psychologist Maria Helena Bartolo has always confidently affirmed that Sean, due to the failure of initiative on his biological father’s part, lost the connection to his American past, since he doesn’t speak the language anymore and since he came to Brazil so young. Sean arrived just after he turned four. If you take into account that a child has little to no memory of his first years of life, it’s easy to understand that Sean can’t remember events and people –even family—in the US.

According to the psychologist, Sean’s formal memory is of his mother at my side, of a happy and pleasant home. Sean lived at my side for practically 60% of his life, since he will turn 9 in May, more time than he spent in the US. When he was questioned about his life in the US, he remembers few details, including arguments and fights that frequently occurred due to a failed marriage.

It’s important to emphasize that I, as the socio-affective father, am only interested in my son Sean’s well-being, nothing more than that. It’s devastating to see his innocent image on mugs sold on the Internet where no one knows where the money goes. Sean is being exposed inconsequently to the world, without taking account the negative consequences this can bring to a growing child. The secrecy of justice is disrespected daily, with all of the photos and information thrown around by the media without any criteria, with the only goal to create controversy and to sell newspapers.

What is the objective of all of these attacks against a Brazilian family? There was never any intention of preventing healthy contact and habitation [with the father]. As such, at the first opportunity which occurred recently, I, as the guardian, offered the visit that took place. Sean’s psychologist can testify to this fact, and told me that Sean was curious, but after a few hours, was uncomfortable. She repeated that in some sessions he wants to have a normal life, without afflictions or risks of being taken from Brazil without being heard, that he wants to stay with his affective father that he loves so, and at his sister’s side, his only connection to his deceased mother. Obviously she doesn’t deny that he doesn’t demonstrate interest in maintaining contact with his biological father, but that he wants to do it in a health and balanced way.

However, there’s a real fear in the family that due to North American political pressures, through the Consulate, that the minor’s interests will be put on the back burner. It doesn’t really matter if the biological father was absent for five years. It doesn’t matter if Sean has a biological sister. It doesn’t matter if he is loved here and wants to stay in the place he calls home, where he goes to school. It doesn’t matter that he is BRAZILIAN. We are essentially running the risk of seeing our highest law that we respect, before everything, the child’s best interest, being violated, torn up, thrown away by North American political interests. They want to use the boy as an example. Example of what? It’s not enough that he was orphaned at age 8, and now, about to be taken from his house, his home, the people he lived with and who cared for him for five years, from daily living with the sister he loves, from his grandparents, his uncles and aunts, and friends?? Where is the best interest of the child??? Or does it deal with the best interest of the US, the American ambassador, of Hillary Clinton?

We don’t even know if the version told outside of Brazil is true. The facts are innumerous and here we have millions of papers that prove, unfortunately, the character of the biological father that never had a real job and was sustained by my wife for the years they were married. If by using the lack of the secrecy of justice in the US to sell himself as a poor little thing, when in reality the only person being penalized in this story is Sean, who runs the risk of losing everything that really makes him feel safe. Sean barely speaks English, and doesn’t speak fluently like they try to show!!!

With great fear and to avoid the rights and interests of a son being completely and grossly violated, it is the socio-affective father – that never ran away from his responsibility of sustaining a child for most of his life only and exclusively for LOVE – asks this Council to analyze and protect the rights of a Brazilian child that has already suffered a lot, and that today is distressed and suffering due to a disastrous and inconsequential international political game – whose foreign political interests seem to be above our law, and if that wasn’t enough, above the greater interest of a Brazilian child, the ONLY VICTIM, that will suffer the serious emotional consequences, in the event that this council doesn’t intervene.

Rio de Janeiro, March 5, 2009
Joao Paulo Lins e Silva – OAB/RJ

  

Falling in LOVE with the United States all over again part one

It is hot as hell in New England right now its been in the 90's for the last few days and Americans are enjoying it.  Summer came early.  People are barbecuing, jet-skiing, kayaking, surfing you name it they are doing it.  I'm jealous because I have been pretty much cooped up in my house but at least sitting in air conditioning.

Which got me to asking my husband how do the people stand it in Brazil with no AC?  I mean we take it for granted in the US you can pick up a small air conditioner that will do you living room for around a $150.00.  He just smiles, he knows us Americans are spoiled.  Think about it Rio De Janeiro with no AC UGGGHHHH not going to lie Fck that.  No wonder every square inch of the beach if filled with glistening bodies stacked like sardines one on top of the other.  How does anyone breathe?  That is why we are buying a new air conditioning/heating unit that is portable that covers a large area.  It also has ventilation.  I don't plan on running it except on really hot days but I need it as back up just in case mold starts growing.  Another thing on my long list.

Which brings me to my latest purchase.  This is why I am beginning to fall in love with the US all over again.  She's coming back to me baby :)  The stuff you can get to make your life comfortable I just love this country.  When I came home singing its praises the other night my husband said ya you  mean the country that consumes more than any other country on the planet?  Or the country that uses third world countries to make it products?  He likes to knock me down to size when I lose it.  TRUE, TRUE, all true, and I do get disappointed as I read my latest Noam Chomsky book.  But then I say to myself I can't control it.  I'm not going to change it and I'm not going to start a revolution.  All I can do is take care of my family and try to help those I come in contact with.   And I'll be honest its hard when your on the receiving end of something that is good to want to stop it no matter what the injustices 5,000 miles away.  So lets not even get into Apple factories right now or the fact that I would love to boycott them while at the same time buy myself an Ipad.  I know other Americans understand what I'm talking about.  Give a hollar if you want to. That is a subject for another post.

My recent purchase is the balls its a remake of a bean bag chair but this one is 7 feet long it can sit three people across its like a bean bag couch.  It can also be used as a bed.  And you can stand it up and make it like a recliner.  Here is the website I bought one in bright turquoise blue http://www.yogibo.com if you don't mind paying customs it so worth it.  Once you see it you realize the applications are endless, and I love lounging even though I bought it for my daughter who I guarantee will be loving this thing long into college.  You can get replacement beads, and new covers in different colors so it lasts.  It also has a warranty but unfortunately I will not be able to enforce it in Brazil which sucks because it wasn't cheap. But I love it.  I imagine her whole play room filled with them for her and friends to lay in.  In fact I am thinking about getting another one.

Anyway we have been enjoying it as a family.  And it made me think how great it is that I love here (right now).  That is one thing I do love about the US I have to admit the endless amount of different cool, fascinating, cutting edge,  make your life easier things that the US has.   I think it would be hard for people from other countries to really understand what its like in the United States unless they have been there.  Not saying they don't have beanbags down there.  And please correct me if they do have this, but even if they do I now no one could afford it except the very well off.  Where as in the US regular joes with a job can buy this.  And I'm not materialistic and I'm not one of those over consumers that just buy to buy.  But once you've had it like this its hard to get it all out of your system and go somewhere that is well a little bare?   I like when inspiration hits me to be jump up and try something new.  I have lots of choices and the prices are reasonable due to free trade.  If I wanted to get this in Brazil the customs would be so ridiculous it would make it not worth buying which for an American is so disappointing.   

That has been a hard realization for me.  My  husband knows this.  I say where am I going to get clothes?  I'm tall I have like a 34" inseam (i'm almost 6 feet) they just started making pance long enough for me in cool styles in the US like 15 years ago.  For years I couldn't get jeans long enough or sleeves and it sucked.  So I know that Brazil does not have this market.  That's annoying to me.  I will always have to buy all my clothes in America.  And lets not get into shoes, the bras which I heard are horrendous or anything else that women love  that remains to be seen.  

Ya YA I know whiny American whining about problems like this when people have it so much worse.  I have heard it all before, I have debated it all and theorized about it all.  Believe me I am grateful for my life.  I'm very lucky.  All I can do is live the life I was given and try to help others as well.   

Why is it (this list is subject to add on's at any moment that inspiration hits)?

1.  Why is it that a lot of people are dicks to you when you ask them for a favor or ask them to help you with something but when their is a camera crew around they are all smiles "come into my home, welcome, what can I do for you".  UMMMM maybe you can act like that when their isn't something in it for you?  This comment is in reference to reality tv and the way people act when they are in front of a TV camera.  All of a sudden they are the most charming helpful people on the planet.  Visit them when you don't have a camera.

2.  Why is it that people go to so much trouble to fucking squeeze their car into a sliver of a parking space as close to the entrance as possible?  I mean what is the point of squeezing?  I don't know about you but I need air to breathe.  I don't want anyone's car doors hitting my car either.  Not to the mention the fact everyone claims to want to be healthy but yet can't muster the energy to walk their fat asses across the parking lot for some free and easy exercise.  This is even funnier when observed at a gym.


3..  Why is it that when a man gets to be 55 or 60 years old he is distinguished, or debonair.  Like a bottle of good cognac getting smoother with age.    But when a woman hits the 50's or 60's she's a hag.  And they are even doing it with women in their 40's.  You can really tell its a man's world with that set up.   Its the media that continually throws this in our face.  Look at the Regis and Kelly show.  How old is he?  He should have hung up his microphone a long long time ago.  He looks ridiculous next to her.  He looks dead already.   If she's 25 then make him 25.  These messages are almost pedophilic.  Or better yet lets stop ageism altogether and put a man and woman that are both older together.  I am sick to death of hollywood, fashion magazines, and commercials showing women that are only 25 years of age and men on TV that are 65 only with women that are 25.  An older woman is just like an older man.  And I have seen very sexy attractive older women.  They are not leper's that need to be hidden away in some back bedroom with 50 cats.  And I think viagra is helping to keep this discrimination going.   Not even getting into the fact that 75 old men are still having children.  But if an older woman wants to have a child she is somehow a bad person.  So what is good for men is not good for women?  Sorry but that's bullshit.

4.  Why is it that people place human characteristics on dangerous wild animals like they are somehow cuddly and fuzzy?  The word for it is anthropomorphism (say that 5 times fast).  I'm not talking about kitty cats or puppies I'm talking about rattlesnakes, tigers, and lions.  Animals that have proven time and time again they are wild when they lash out at their owners and either kill them or maim them.  Remember Siegfried and Roy?  Two lovers who had glamorous photos of themselves in front of a glistening white mansion,  in a crystal blue pool swimming with rare white lions?  Can you think of anything more ridiculous?  Well check out how Roy's doing now.  I'll tell ya he's not doing well.  He was bitten in the neck by one of his beloved tigers and he has never been the same since.  Their is only so much physical therapy can do.  Time and time again you hear nasty stories about these animals with dumb owners.  The most horrendous one I heard was the constrictor that suffocated a two  year old baby girl in her crib.   I was so disgusted by this story I wanted to put a constrictor in bed with the parents.  Talk about not giving a shit.  The snake was kept in a decrepit case that it had escaped from over 200 times before the accident so these people were aware.  These parents should be thrown in jail for a long long time.  I don't care if it was negligence or not.  Why would you think that a slimy scaly beady eyed snake is your friend?  Its not a loving pet no matter how many times you feed it live mice.  I've just come to the conclusion a lot of people are just not that bright.