Friday, February 17, 2012

Nervous about leaving the US

I have not written much but will be writing more about my experiences moving from New England to Southern Brazil. Right now I am still in New England, while my husband is doing his last remodel job before we go to Brazil. I have purchased so much here in the US, clothes, new refrigerator, new stove, new washer/dryer, new TV, and on and on all being shipped in a overpriced cargo bin with lots of insurance (that is a whole other upsetting topic). And I still need to get so much more. All new things for our new house. I feel lucky my husband has his own house and its adorable, we will be gutting and renovating the bathroom and kitchen brand new American style with lots of cabinets and stone covered island with all stainless steel appliances. My husband worked really hard to be able to do this. I will be keeping a video diary of it.

But as great as I hope and believe my life is going to be. Living in a new house my own house, in a great town in Southern Brazil with a good standard of living. We just found a brand new supermarket down the street from his house that is comparable if not even better to the supermarkets in the US the website had photos, I was impressed. But I am still scared as the date moves closer I get more and more anxiety about living in Brazil and learning to deal with the known differences that honestly some of which I will not be able to accept, but I am trying to keep an open mind and not judge after all change helps you to grow. So while I want to embrace the differences and learn the language I am still nervous. Part of me wants to stay even though I am somewhat bored. Right now I live in Massachusetts which is number one in education and health care in the US so as far as raising a child that sounds great. My insurance was great it provided so much for so little at a cost $20.00 per month! I got a 5 day stay in private room, all the free most expensive formula as much as I could carry, a free $350.00 Medula breast pump (the thing is fantastic) and I might get free car seat. I mean where can you get on the best health care systems in the world with all the perks for $20.00 a month? (nowhere). Boston is renowned for some of the best hospitals in the world. Things like this make me have reservations about moving to Brazil. Even though I will have private health care down there not sure if I want to have another baby down there after what I have heard and how they do things. I do try not to judge but the bar has already been set so high and parts of my personality are TYPE A.

I think its more nerve racking since I have a newborn. She is the light of my life, I wake up with so much joy to see her beautiful face. I have never been so happy. She is the perfect mix of Brazilian and American. I look forward to the future with her. She already has golden coloured skin. I can't wait till her hair grows in I hope its thick and curly like mine and my husbands.

Don't get me wrong she will be filled with America I am very patriotic well lets just say it a different way although the US has a lot to make better I like the way things are done in the US, and I plan on supplementing her schooling with my own home schooling for her (the American side of her eduction)--very important to me. And she will see snow and fall in it, lay in it, make snowmen, and learn to snowboard, look at all the amazing Christmas lights, smell pine trees, smell winter, taste the crisp air, all the things I love about New England and want her to experience. I am giving that part up. Hopefully for the better but its going to be hard for me.

I will write more about it as my nerves compel me to, its cathartic and maybe I can work through this time by writing and flushing out my fears and looking them square in the face.

OOPs babies crying!

No comments:

Post a Comment