Monday, April 2, 2012

Nostagia my childhood vs his part one

The first movie my father took me to see was the original Walt Disney's Snow White & the Seven Drawfs. It was a special bonding moment . A father holding his daughters hand and a huge container of overpriced popcorn with butter on top. I was about 7 years old. After the movie I promptly became obsessed with Snow White as all girls should. I always liked Snow White better than Cinderella. The next movie that stood out in my mind that he took me to was Star Wars 1977 their were people standing in the isles to watch this movie. The last real father daughter moment I remember having with my father that might have meant something to him was Flashdance 1983. Now if I tell you how old I was I would have to kill you (smile). Lets put is this way I'm from Generation X. And it was cool to be that then. Movies have always been a huge part of the American culural experience for me.

I came from a classic 70's upbringing, my parents were married young my mother was 19 my father 21. They bought my fathers parents house a cute old style New England home with no heat on the second floor. It a back and front porch with a glittering wind-chime that made beautiful ethereal sounds when the summer breeze came through the house, we kept our doors open all summer. On cold mornings when I would get up for school I would run downstairs out of breathe and plop my but down on a old square brown heating vent and let the heat blow up my dress. It was heaven I loved being alone on those mornings before everyone woke up. Then they divorced when I was 10 like everyone was doing in the 70's. That was hard. But life for me as a kid in America was easy especially up until that point. My father had a good job. I had all the cool toys. I had my own metallic green swing set in the back and a huge grass covered yard to do cartwheels on. I took figure skating. ballet, jazz, and tap lessons. I went private school.

Flash-forward to now, I miss the lilacs, I miss my grandfather, I miss the way the music from the ice cream truck floated over the summer breeze in the distance, I miss riding my banana seat bike. Thinking about it now gives me butterflies. After my parents got divorced things changed, I changed. I missed my father desperately. 

My husband on the other hand at some points in his childhood had no electricity, and sometimes no shoes. He had no toys, no bike, and no Christmas trees. You remember every Christmas going on the hunt for the perfect tree? Decorating it was a family affair. When we were done decorating my father would lift me up high so that I could put his favourite angel on top. My husband didn't have green and red sparkling presents that Santa delivered Christmas Eve. He didn't go sledding on snow days. He didn't have any amazing Christmas sweets and treats. Or the big Christmas dinner listening to Nat King Cole. He never saw any blockbuster hollywood movies. Or had a pair of nikes. Or had an Atari, or played on a swing-set, or went down a water slide. He never went to amusement parks and had pink cotton candy or heard all the people scream on the rides. He never laid on his back and watched fireworks on a large blanket and just dreamed. He never had his days free. Or went out to buy new school clothes and supplies with his mother before the new school year started in September. Or smelled fall as he carried his book-bag to school. Or ran out to the yard at recess. It was different. He never had the freedom to just be a kid. Because his life was tough he had to work and his family didn't have anything. What I had was a MAGIC compared to what he had.

We had polar opposite childhoods and lives in general. I mean its the haves vs. the have nots. And its hard when those differences surface to try and understand where he is coming from. The differences in our backgrounds the differences in standards of living between our countries creates a lot of turmoil. Each of our experiences shaped who we are and what we expect out of life. Its hard to see eye to eye. In the beginning of our relationship I thought these differences are cool, I like that its not a stereotypical relationship. But its proving to be a challenge as time goes on and real life sets in especially when it comes to raising our daughter and what I imagine for her vs what he imagines.

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